Domesticating Taryn - First Year as a SAHM

It has been a year since I quit my job, moved to Georgia and became a full-time stay-at-home-mom.  I still cannot cook, am not a very good house keeper, and my crafty/creative side comes in spurts.  So what exactly did I learn over the past year?  

Not everything about the transition was easy.  It was tough going for a few months with lots of tears, doubts, and yes even some yelling.  In my defense it was a lot for anyone to deal with.  In the course of a month I left my job in Corporate America as the primary bread winner, had Jay move away leaving me alone with three small children, had the kids test me every chance they got, moved to a new state away from everything and everyone I knew - including all my friends and family.  Oh and did I mention I was preggo??  All of that with the added bonus of extreme hormones and emotions - what a great mix (insert sarcasm here).  There were also some hard lessons to be learned and to accept.

I learned:

• some relationships were not as strong as I once thought they were
• poop will get smeared all over a room when 2 and 3 year old boys are left  alone during naptime and get bored (and it is not so fun to clean up)
• My children are budding artists and their preferred medium is permanent black marker on furniture and walls
• It is possible to eat peanut butter and jelly every day
• You have to actually leave your children once and a while in order for them to miss you
• The feeling of returning and hearing them say how much they missed you is one of the best feelings
• No matter how many places and times you think you have locked up and hidden all the scissors, crayons, markers, glue, etc. they will always find one left out or hidden in a special spot
• The random hug, kiss, or 'I love you' can fix even the worst day
• Being a SAHM (particularly without friends and family) can be the loneliest thing at times
• You must prepare any adults that you come into contact with that you are not used to adult interaction and you may abuse it (just ask my hairdresser)
• You really need to find an avenue to express yourself as someone other than Mommy and keep that for yourself (although I received this advice from several people I did not realize how hard it would be to experience the emotions of feeling like my identity was completely gone and the only thing I was good for were diaper changes, wiping butts and noses, and providing meals -to which they would complain about).
• I am able to control myself when confronted with the numerous rude comments such as “Wow you sure have your hands full”; “Are they all yours?”; “They must keep you busy”; and of course the newest and rudest of all “Oh Good (insert Lords name here)”.  I have yet to slap someone or say something very nasty and rude in response.
• Kids can drive you completely, totally, over the top crazy one minute but the next give you a sweet smile or stare at you with innocent eyes and all is forgotten.
• It is possible to transport 3 walking children, one baby in a stroller, 4 fold up chairs, a cooler, a diaper bag, and sports equipment down a bumpy hill all by myself (several times a week).
• I must say the same thing at least 10 times before a response will ever be received.

I recently had a brief glimpse into my former life and for a split second I missed it.  I had to go to Atlanta to get a new ID badge for work.  I drove into the city, found parking, and headed into a Federal Building.  I was there during lunch and saw many people in their business attire, wearing badges, walking through the hallways off to their meetings, offices, or lunch room.  I saw others sitting around tables laughing and talking with co-workers (ADULTS!).  A part of me felt right at home like I hadn’t been gone for almost a year and a part of me missed it.  You know that side of me that felt like I contributed to the family and that I had a real purpose.  Those feelings lasted until I got back out to my car and headed out into Atlanta to find my way home.  At that point (after about 15 turns to go 5 blocks) I remembered why we made the move and how grateful I am that we live where we do and the life I have!

I believe that some of us are just not wired to be the perfect housewife and homemaker.  That people like me are needed to keep the restaurants and fast food chains in business and that cleaning services are there for a reason (hopefully my hubby will agree and let me get one again). 

Besides, when they are older what are my children going to remember the most (besides some of the REALLY bad meals)?  Will they remember that the floors and countertops were not always spotless; that the toys were spattered around the entire house; that the dishes piled up in the sink; and that I complained about housework?  OR will they remember all the day trips and fun adventures we had, that every time Daddy was off work we spent the time together as a family even if it was to run errands or clean the garage; that some days we just all snuggled on the couch watching tv or reading books; that I was here to put them on and get them off the bus and that our house was the place everyone played at after school; that I didn’t let a day go by without kissing and hugging them and telling them how much I loved them?  Now, in my mind THOSE are the things they will remember and the moments that they will treasure because I certainly do!!!

This is by far the hardest job I have ever had but at the same time it is hands down the most rewarding!  I of course would not have any of this if it was not for my AWESOME and absolutely AMAZING husband!!!  He left a warehouse that he was very happy with, friends and family to relocate and start over all because we wanted me to be home with the kids!  He not only works hard at his job and provides us everything we want and need but he picks up ALL of my slack around the house!  He cooks, cleans, does laundry, dishes and anything else that is needed (see he really is the domestic one ;) ).  Oh and he is my rock, sounding board, and the one to talk me off the ledge or just bring me back down to Earth when I get out of control.  This past year has certainly not been easy on him either but he has remained positive and supportive no matter what. 

I will continue to work towards domestication but in the meantime I plan to enjoy every moment I have with my precious babies because they go by way too fast.